I have come to learn….yes, I’m still learning….as we all should until we take our last breath….that a person can be loved, or love someone, but not like them. This has happened to me recently. My own son has decided that he does not care for me or my behavior….or what….I’m not sure….perhaps he is not driving the bus, perhaps it is his fiance….if not now, she will certainly be driving the bus, and owning it soon – poor sucker, but hey, he asked for it. My son liked me and loved me very much at one time – or actually, always. Interesting, how the constant chatter of another voice can drum out the love in a person’s heart….and I DO MEAN CONSTANT, NON-STOP CHATTER FOR HOURS AND HOURS ON END….geez, who could sleep?
Well, I can’t control the situation. I was completely, utterly devastated for weeks. I won’t say publicly what I tried to do to myself but you can read between the lines…it wasn’t good. My dearest friend since age 14 called and said “Hey!, what’s up! Call me!” Then she zoomed a 3 hour car ride to come get me because she could tell I sounded bad on the phone. It took more weeks.
And still….I’m healing from my ripped heart.
But I’ve been kicked to the curb before. Many, many times.
It’s God’s will that I survive. If I’m going to survive, then dammit, I’m going to dance. And dammit, I’m going to thrive.