Wolf on the Roof


It was Halloween two years after the 9/11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center.  My youngest son, who was 17, of course was not going to go trick-or-treating but he wanted to participate in Halloween in some way.   When Alex was 15 he was happy to participate by giving out the candy to the kids.  He was nicer at that than I was; I liked to dress up like a witch; open the door and yell “WHAT!” and scare the kids first, then give out full-size candy bars.  My house was always decorated to the max …. with my own style…. I had huge bugs covering the house….centipedes, spiders, tarantulas, everywhere!  People would slow down to see my house.  I was, and am, the Queen of Halloween – my favorite holiday… a holiday of fun; unlike Christmas where you worry about giving everyone what they like, did I give enough, did I get everyone, yada, yada, yada; unlike Thanksgiving where it’s who decides to host and who is going to start up with a nasty remark….no Halloween is just about fun and being silly.  Halloween is just right for me.

My children have picked up my appreciation for the fun of Halloween.  However, this particular year, my son decides he wants to do something more fun.  He asks, can I wear the fantastic wolf mask you bought (I always buy my great Halloween stuff just after Halloween at dirt cheap prices) and sit on the roof and throw candy at the kids as they walk up the driveway.  Ugh.  Well, ok.  It seemed harmless.  I said, the candy has to  be small….like little tootsie rolls.  And yes, we often climb out of a bedroom window from the second floor onto our roof either to watch town fireworks, clean the gutters or just look around.  It’s fun.  We’re a different family.

So Alex gets on the roof in the gruesome wolf mask.  It’s October but it’s warm.  The mask is huge and it’s hot.  15 minutes later, he comes back in.  It’s too hot Mom, I’m just going to sit up there and throw the candy.  Ok.

15 minutes later….Mom, I want to scare the kids.  I’m going to get my paintball gun and sit on the roof and as the kids walk up the driveway, “I’ll say, hey what are you doing here, ok Mom”.   Holy shit!  Are you kidding me Alex?  Are you serious?  You want to sit on the roof, with a paintball gun….which to anyone else’s eye from a distance looks like a damn rifle…this is after 9/11…and you want to sit there looking like a damn shooter?   Are you out of your mind?  “What, what’s wrong with that?” What’s wrong!  The damn police will be here in 5 seconds!  At least 10 neighbors will be calling the police.  It looks scary.  It’s Halloween….not a damn revolution…get off the damn roof NOW!!!!!

Alex was dejected and did not understand my logic.  He didn’t want to answer the door or participate in Halloween anymore that year.  Sorry, son.

I have a lot of political opinions.  I already know I’m likely on several Patriot Act, secret Washington lists….let’s not add your name to it Alex.  Geez.




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