Knifing on Christopher Street

Knifing on Christopher Street

It was a warm summer night in 2015 and the West Village was alive with people.  I had been hanging out in a bar for a few hours and decided to walk from there, Hudson Street, to the Stonewall Inn via Christopher Street at about midnight.  New York City never sleeps; and, it certainly does not at midnight in the Village on a warm summer night.  I did not feel uncomfortable or unsafe walking alone the several blocks from one venue to another.  I was dressed in cowboy boots and jeans with a light denim jacket.  As I walked along Christopher Street and neared 7th Avenue, 2 young black men came  up behind me and spoke “hey, you want to see a big dick?”  Of course, a sane person would continue to walk, cross the street or do anything to get away or avoid confrontation.  Not me.  I’m stupid; I don’t like being harassed by men.  I turn around and face them.  “No, I do not.”  “Well, I bet you’ve never seen a 10” dick before” one guy says to me.  Why am I even standing here talking to this idiot? I must be an idiot too.

“Yes, yes I have.  My husband has a 10” dick”.  They reply, “well, bet you never saw a black one.”  Ugh.  I reply – again, stupid Kathleen – “yes, yes I have.”  The two of them are still pissing me off…..”well, you’ve never seen mine.”

Boom!  Asshole alert.  Ok buddy, you messed with the wrong girl even if we are on a dark street at midnight.

“Listen”, I tell them, “if you pull your dick out, I’m going to take out my knife and slice it.”  One of the assholes retorts “you don’t have a knife”; I reach into my purse and take out my 3 ½ inch knife which is small but sharp as a scalpel.  “Ha ha ha ha ha!  That’s not a knife!”  They are laughing.  “Oh yeah?  Let’s see, put out your hand” I say.  Asshole #1 puts out his hand toward me, palm down.  ZIIIPPPPPPP!  I slice the knife across his fingers, and the blood immediately starts running down his hand.  The two of them are looking at his hand in shock.  I don’t wait; I zip turnaround and pop into the bar two doors down; take off my coat and mingle, mingle, mingle….get lost in the crowd.

Sure enough, a few minutes later the two assholes come into the bar.  I’m sure they are looking for me.  Mingle, wiggle, duck, grab my coat, out the door, hop in a yellow cab and head home.  See ya assholes.

I get home and throw away the knife.  I’ll buy a new one.   Stupid shit.



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