Having A Hard Time

I’m having a hard time…..my first born (I don’t consider the son I gave up for adoption as my first born), my heart….has been on his own for 3 years but he is about to be married….and she loves him; he loves her….but she grew up in a happy home and so did her parents….they are not like me….I come from nothing….I come from abuse…so, this little boy came into my life like a star who looked at me with big blue eyes and loved me immediately. And we played for years, and had stupid, fun secrets, and toys, and jokes, and tickles…and he slipping and slipping further away….and she knows it, she knows she owns him…because he has a gentle heart…my linebacker with the soft heart….the boy I carried into the emergency room and prayed for God to save…and now, I must watch him move on…and it is the natural order of things….but my life has no natural order and never has…the wedding is 10 months away…already, yes, already…I’m on a glacier ….. how does this happen? Son? I love you…I will lay down my life for you….it’s been a good ride

Kat

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