Boy Toy/Jerk Off

I coached him when he as 7 or 8 in one of the town soccer teams.  He was one of the best players.  I put him every time; he scored multiple times every game.  He came from Eastern Europe and soccer was his family’s sport….spending summer’s overseas kicking a ball around all summer.  My kids went to parochial school.  He went to public school.  I didn’t see him again until I ran into him in town many, many years later when he was 21.  Damn, he said, oh my God…..geez, you’re so hot.  Now what the fuck do I say to that? I’m over 50, and he’s the same age as my youngest son.  Of course, I like a compliment.  But this is weird.  Uh, but geez, didn’t he grow up handsome and with rock hard muscles everywhere.  “Thanks….” Small talk….he asks to exchange cell numbers.  Stupid girl once again…I do.  Now why the hell does he want my number, I should have thought but no, stupid girl makes her own problems.

Next day, he calls.  “You know, you are the MILF (mother I’d like to fuck) in town”.  Oh, get outta here and cut it out.  He continues.  He gets fresh….I want you so bad, damn you are so beautiful, girls my age are stupid and don’t know anything, I need a woman.

I’m smack dab in the middle of my “fuck up my life” phase….so I agree to let him come visit me one afternoon when no one is home …to chat.  Yeah, right.  Motherfucker starts groping me right away.   21…..do you have a clue how to deal with a woman you fucking dickhead?   I did not say “go” or “ok” or anything….I offered you a gatorade and gave you an ashtray for your cigarette, asked about your parents and now you are climbing on top of me.  What the fuck.  Uh, get off.  “What, what?”  Puppy dog face..ha, do I give a shit? No…..puppy dog face means I just want what I want and I’ll try this.  Ha….you are out of your league little boy….puppy dog face will get eaten by this lioness so get your shit together and back up.

Still entertained….I’m alone a lot, so I chill with him since he backed off.  We chatted.  He begged. No no no.  He left.

A week later, he calls me at 7am….hubby is gone for work and I’m alone.  Boy toy is wide awake because he works at a top VIP club in NYC where you can’t get in unless you are a celeb or fucking someone special so he gets home at 6am wide awake.  He wants to know if he can PLEEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEE come over.   I’m horny – yep, I said it, so I said ok.  Oh fuck.

Boy toy comes over.  We go out back…it’s summer, sit on the large, soft sectional outdoor furniture and just get to it…..no chitchat….just fuck.  5 minutes….Hello? Is that it?  Uh, you’re 21?  You are supposed to be a firecracker…what the hell….you have a body to die for….but you know shit about sex.  Motherfucker….he’s ready to leave immediately.  I mean, I sure didn’t want to hang out with him but be respectful you dickhead.  Then I say, well give me a nice kiss goodbye….this piece of shit says, “I can’t, you had your mouth on my cock”….GET THE FUCK OUT NOW BECAUSE I WILL BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOU NOW WHERE YOU STAND, I will come to your house at an unknown hour, ruin your car and make your life miserable in ways you will never imagine.  I punch him in the gut.

Boy toy is shocked…What?  What? I’m sorry….GET OUT!  He leaves…this stupid asshole texts and calls me over the next YEAR….YEAR a dozen more times.  Finally, I tell him….I saved all your texts (I had not) and I’m going to show them to my sons who will beat you to a pulp.

Boy toy apologized and stopped.

Friends….don’t waste your time on a boy toy….they don’t know shit about pleasing a woman, about grace, respect, basic courtesy, foreplay…..they are children in an adult body….instead, get a vibrator.

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Kat

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