Monthly Archives :

July 2018

Emersion

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I imagine My birth Was I screaming or terrified  Did I know then It just unfolded  And crumbled  I wasn’t there  In my mind In anyone’s thought  Super girl in academics And naturally athletic  Not loved at home Not belonging  The welfare girl Smarter than her family  Hate seed was planted against me Fuck You Kathleen Did you feed that seed? Did you decide to hate yourself  

TREPIDATIOUSLY COME INTO MY HEAD

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  MY NOTES FOR MY THERAPIST   REALLY….CAN I GET A BREAK Hi Candace, Below is the journal I kept this week to share with you yesterday but was unable to because I was still rattled about my nightmares. I apologize for being abrupt. Praise heaven, I slept really well, peacefully, a full 7 uninterrupted hours to wake feeling refreshed!!  I have less trepidation about going to sleep now.  …

Paradox aka Life’s Shit

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Irony/Observation  Children begin completely dependent upon a parent(s) well into high school. Children need strong guidance, love, advice, limitations and space while they are neither fish nor fowl.  College Parents often receive little communication. This is the normal pattern of life. They begin to form their own vision of themselves.  All college breaks, young college students only want to spend time with friends.  Post-College Many children return home after graduating…

The Broken

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MY SIDE it’s not liquor  Drugs Substances It’s me People should avoid damaged people  We can’t fix ourselves  We don’t understand what broke When it broke Why it was broken  We don’t even remember all the tank shots that hit us It’s a body\mind way of trying to protect 0urselves From the worst  The worst Too horrible to bring up Leave it It’s always there Don’t look We don’t look…

FISH BOWL

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July 22, 2018 12:32 am He goes to sleep between 7:30 pm-9-pm. He’s awake though now. He woke at his usual time of 4am. I know he’s exhausted. But … I’m watched  I get from the couch to pee ‘What’s wrong? What do you need? What are you doing” This is a hybrid seed Grown Begun Fractured DNA He doesn’t travel outside the USA  His various issues And then I…

STOP THE HATE

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One tin soldier Listen people to a story That was written long ago, ’bout a kingdom on a mountain And the valley folks below. On the mountain was a treasure Hidden deep beneath a stone, And the valley people swore They’d have it for their very own. Go ahead and hate your neighbor, Go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of heaven, You can justify it…